One more Day Mom

It will be 15 years tomorrow that you passed, if this were our last 24 hours and we knew you would meet Jesus tomorrow what would I do differently, I would tell you I love you more, I would never let hospice take you to the hospital, I tried mom but no one would listen when I told them you wanted to die at home where Dad did, I was out numbered and I couldn't fulfill my promise to hold your hand until you were gone, Mom, I fell asleep for a couple of hours just as you were passing over, I've wondered why God would make me so sleepy at the moment you needed me, I was holding your hand most of the night and the smell of death came on my hands, when I ask the hospice nurse what that chemical was and she said death for some reason I couldn't hold my eyes open, Mom Marce laid in the bed with you holding you, you seem to be in so much pain, Bon and her told me to lay down a miniute and then they woke me and said you had to go to the hospital, I threw a fit but they took you and when I got to the hospital you were already gone, Poor little Marce rode in the ambulance with you and me and Bon followed, you had passed on the way to the hospital, I would remember with you all our wonderful times and how much they meant to me, I would tell you how beautiful you are even if you didn't think so, I would apologize for ever worrying you, I would cook for you even if you couldn't eat, I remember the day before Dad passed he wanted one of my Grilled Cheese sandwich and to this day think of him every time I eat one. Mom I MISS you so much I can hardly wait until the Lord comes for me then I'll be with you and dad and all the loved ones in Heaven, I completed our Jackson side of the family tree and you would have loved seeing it, even pictures of some long ago relatives, Mom I tried to buy your home place (To keep it in the Family) but once again it sold before anyone took me serious, Marce and Bon thought I was nuts for wanting it, but from memory, and your wonderful childhood stories, I felt so at home there, tell Grandma I am in the middle of tracing her daddys land, and tell her I will never let the cemetary grow up, it is almost or may even be full by now, Aunt Net passed, I visited her and Grandpa in the rain, I wish we could have spent more time in the holler, you survived on love and mom you wouldn't believe what a big funeral you had, A sweet Black lady you use to work with came to the house just to tell us how much you taught her and credited you for her nursing career, OH IF WE HAD JUST ONE MORE DAY

RUDE MEN

I was at CVS the other day and could not believe what happened, there was a small line but no cashier, as I looked at the magazine covers in my own little spacie world I was shocked at what happened next, when a cashier did appear he ask this man for his CVS card and he didn't have it, so the cashier doing his job the way it is supposed to be ask for his phone number..............WOW this man shouted louder than I've ever heard his name rank and serial number, in a Army type shout, Holy cow I felt so sorry for his wife standing beside him, her face was the color purple and the man's face was bright red, the poor cashier waiting on him was obviously angry but kept his composure, after the man and wife left the store everyone was talking about how rude it was of him, he was a middle aged man and here in the line behind him was an old lady, probably like me a little spacie, the roof could fall in and I would say Oh well. What do you do with a husband who embarrasses you so bad in public, my first thought was WHY his patience was so short my second thought was his wife, all of us have lived with an angry husband or loud screaming husbands but in public they act fine, but this guy was over the top. As I walked to my car I looked around to see if I could see them but they were gone, I thought about praying for his wife which I later did but at that moment I prayed for the rude husband, I prayed he calm down before getting home, I prayed his paycheck be enough for the family, I prayed and praised the cashier, then I prayed for the wife=How many wives out there put up with this type of man when once I'm sure he was a sweet gentle lover, but now he looked and sounded like a monster, ladies we just need to pray for families out there who are stretched to the max, maybe something went wrong at work that day, perhaps he wasn't feeling well, but one thing we know for sure he is use to discipline or he would not have had a rank and serial. I pray we all keep a sweet spirit at all times

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I wish everyone a very Happy 2011. I made goals that I think I can make. This time of year is very depressing, only because my mom was dieing and I was living with her, My sister and I was talking and I told her I would do it all over again, but she felt mom should have went to Hospite but mom told me she wanted to die at home, Well from the time they told her and the time she passed was 85 days, I wanted to make sure mom was well taken care of with no abuse, I told mom I would be holding her hand, well almost, the hospice nurse was called around 10:00pm because mom was shutting down, after alot of morphine she was still in terrible trouble, while all of us surrounded her bed I was holding mom's hand and smelled a chemical smell, it was the the smell of death, when the hospice nurse said that I immediately got so sleepy I couldn't hold my eyes open any more so I laid down on the couch for 1/2 hr when my sister Bonnie woke me and said we are taking her to the hospital, I threw a hissy fit I told the nurse that was her job and she said I've been here all night and I need to help my other patients, so they called an ambulance I watched with tears them load her, by the time my sister and I got to the hospital she was gone. The GUILT still haunts me of not holding her hand like I promised, The Lord must have had his reasons for me getting so sleepy but I will never know why? She passed in 1996 and to this day I am so sad I didn't fulfill my promise, but I know she is in Heaven, I'm alot better with the guilt but it creeps back every now and then, Janice Damron you were so important to everyone, I hopes she knows what a huge funeral she had she had touched the lives of so many, with me never able to have children I really miss mom and dad,RIP